Even Heroes

The Caregiver Poet

We’re the kind of love

That everybody wants.

Every night a date,

even if just

on the couch.

Your hand always

found mine.

We were each other’s proof

that the world

could be kind.

You behind me

saying “Go!”

Me always with you saying “I am here”.

Everything

was possible for us.

I always felt safe

with you

Love like ours a

real magic shield.

Reliable, and sustaining.

Then time

quiet and stealthy

began misplacing

small things:

A word here,

a story there,

the way your eyes would hold mine

began to slightly drift.

I kept thinking:

this is where I fix it.

I can step in

and pull you back.

Because I always could.

And because

we always did.

But this was different.

I was holding on

Believing

while something

larger than us

Invaded our life,

loosening your grip

one finger at a time.

I hate this slow surrender,

learning that love

even ours

doesn’t always get to win

Feeling like a failure,

If only I was stronger,

smarter,

more—something—

enough to keep you

here with me.

But even now,

when your words wander

off and blur,

there are moments

bright and stubborn—

when you look at me:

Still Here.

Beginning to understand,

a little at a time,

that I am not losing you

because I didn’t fight hard.

I am missing you

because this is what

time does,

what bodies do,

what life can do

even to the most beautiful things

of all.

So I stay.

And visit everyday.

Sitting here beside you

in every version

of your way,

in every role you play,

loving you with

Touch, smiles

and singing

even as you

Drift away.

And if I have to

let you go

piece by piece in time,

I will hold each piece

close to me

as long as I’m allowed.

As long as it is mine.

No I haven’t failed.

Our love keeps

always strong,

and strong real things

Are never

ever really gone.

Cloudia Charters